To mean it
by Emeilia-Rose
Summary: Things change but others, never do. Fluff, Drama, Flashbacks and maybe even a little Smut!


**A/N: Okay it's a rainy day in Washington (Big Surprise) but it makes for excellent inspiration. I hope you like it and let me know what you think!!**

**-Tori **

The four walls of her office seemed to close in tighter around her.

Some days she could look around and enjoy the view from the top. Enjoy the power and pride that came with the position of Director.

But today she felt smothered in paperwork and expectations.

She had dug herself a whole and had no way to fill it.

It was not like she hated her job, in fact; it was everything she had always wanted.

She just wished she had taken it slower and enjoyed the climb.

**-Flash Back-**

**Jenny breathed shallowly; it was weird how whenever you wanted to stay quiet you could swear your breath had never been louder. It reminded her of playing hide-and-go-seek as a child. But, this time the stakes were higher.**

**There were footsteps at the other end of the abandoned parking garage, coming closer to her hiding spot behind the concrete barrier. Her heart started pumping what seemed to be pure adrenaline through her veins.**

**She knew this hadn't been one of the smartest ideas she had ever had, but she was stuck with it now.**

**The two sets of footprints came closer and she readied herself to shoot, or be shot, whichever came first.**

**Gibbs, her then partner should be coming up behind the perps, as they advanced on her position.**

**A shot rang out and she pivoted so that she could still shoot but be safe about it; well as safe as you could be in a bullet battle.**

**She fired once, then twice; planting a double tap in the taller one. He and his weapon hit the ground before the remaining opponent even knew what hit him. **

**Literally.**

**A round from Gibbs' gun hit him in the chest and he fired once more before he could be shot again.**

**The two agents cautiously approached the bodies, kicking the guns away. After they were confirmed dead by the lack of a pulse the fighting started.**

"**What happened to 'Ask first shoot later'? Jenny said holstering her gun. **

"**What are you talking about? You're the one fired first!" He yelled at the probie in the partnership.**

**Her face went stark white before she said "No, Jethro, I didn't."**

**She drew her gun, but it didn't matter because she dropped it just as fast.**

**-End Flash Back –**

The danger had always been there, still was, but now she was engulfed in a false sense of security. She was a hands on type of person and sometimes this fancy job and all of its fancy perks were just to distant from the action to even feel like the same career.

**-Flash Back-**

**It wasn't like she wanted to die, but she couldn't stop the inevitable.**

**Her blood stained her white sweater and the hands of the man who was holding her.**

**"Jen, Jenny please wait. Just hold on a little longer the ambulance is on its way." Jethro, her Jethro the one who was always calm sounded worried, god she hated it. Hearing him sound like that hurt more than the bullet that was nestled somewhere in the side of her ribcage.**

**Her hands were squeezed tightly on the wound; it wasn't the first time she had been shot, she didn't want to think about if it would be the last.**

**"Jethro, it'll be fine, it's okay." She said in between short gasps of breath. Really he should be the one saying those things but she wasn't looking for comfort. She just wanted him to know that they would be out there defying direct orders and hunting down leads again.**

**They had been in this position before, though the roles were usually reversed.**

**Through gritted teeth she said what she thought needed to be said.**

**"I love you." They had said it before but only after sex, sure they had meant it then, but it was just an overused sentiment that had worn down to mean very little. Saying it now made things official.**

**"That'll be the day." To other women that would mean he was brushing off their declaration as a joke. But Jen knew it was his way of saying it back without making it seem like goodbye.**

**And to think she sometimes wondered why she loved him.**

**She was shaking by the time she heard the sirens, but she wasn't sure she had the drive to keep hanging on, it was just too hard.**

**-End Flash Back-**

Through her green lacy top and tight fitting suit jacket she fingered a spot on her side gingerly.

Some days that old wound still hurt, and on the days it didn't just seeing the nasty scar every morning in the bathroom mirror reminded her of what had happened.

There had been a third shooter, one who had been trying to hit Gibbs from an angle that made it nearly impossible.

He had shot first, making both her and her partner thinking that the other had started the shoot out. After the short fire fight was over he took a chance and hit her.

Gibbs, who had been angry with her only moments before rushed to her side. She had put her hands out to stop him; he had to take care of the remaining threat.

Once he returned she was fading fast, blood pooled around her. She just remembered the sickening smell of iron that came from the three bodies and herself that filled the area around them.

On that day she had almost died, but she had also got a realization; if their personal relationship would hinder their jobs, it couldn't work. She knew she had to leave; it had just taken her a year to finally get the courage to actually do it.

**-Flash Back-**

** The slow incessant beeping of the monitor should have comforted her; it should have reassured her that she was alive. But, the noise was repetitive and it mocked the silence that she was surrounded by, she thought he wasn't there.**

**When she finally opened her eyes she hissed at the brightness of the fluorescent lights. A warm hand slipped into her own and she smiled; she knew those hands and she knew what they could do.**

**"Jethro?" Her voice sounded alien to her own ears. **

**"Hmmm?" He was hanging on her every word. He would do anything just if it meant that he got to hear her say his name again.**

**"When can I get out of here?" Her eyes were closed still and he laughed at her very 'Jenny' statement.**

"**Special Agent Jennifer Shepard?" A woman in her mid twenties asked from the door way, she had a white coat on (Probably because she was a doctor Jen thought) and her blonde hair hung loosely around her chin. She crossed the room and set the clip board she was holding on the end of the bed.**

**The woman took the time to size up her new patient; after all she worked in Bethesda where she would deal with plenty of arrogant officers and marines who refused treatment. She needed to know who she was dealing with. **

**The red headed woman in the bed gave her a warm smile and told her to call her Jenny. This woman was strong, she had made it in a man's world, she had sustained a gun shot and was already coherent with barely any painkillers. She looked tired, and maybe even defeated but not fragile; she could tell this woman was going to be a handful.**

**The man next to her, holding her hand introduced himself simply as 'Gibbs' and she noted the sidearm he was carrying. This man was an agent as well, most likely the woman's partner. **

**She quickly checked the vitals of her new patient and upped her medicine dosage and headed out just as she shut the door the man leant down and kissed the woman.**

**They were definitely partners.**

**-End Flash Back-**

At first she had been unsure about kissing him when they weren't making love. At first she had thought that he only wanted someone to sleep with. But he had made it obvious that he wanted her, all of her, not just her body.

But what he did to her body was what she remembered and craved most.

**-Flash Back-**

**"Please just a little sip?" Jenny begged, she sounded like a child, but she didn't care. **

"**No Jen." He scolded her. She pouted just a little and he automatically gave in.**

**She smirked victoriously as she sipped from his coffee, which was laced with a little bourbon. He snatched it back.**

"**Happy?" Gibbs asked annoyed that she had gotten hive to give in, again.**

"**Not yet." **

**He gulped, the way she said that was a dead give away to her meaning.**

**She stood up and pulled him along by the hand up the basement stairs and into the hall way, before they could make it to his bedroom she had him pushed into the door jam.**

**She was attacking his mouth with a hunger that had built up over the past week. In between kisses he managed to get out a half hearted warning.**

"**The doctor said to take it easy." **

"**Jethro! I have been 'Taking it Easy' all week, right now, I need you!" Her voice was hoarse and by the way her eyes darkened he knew there was no way he was going to get out of this unscathed.**

**She fisted her hands in his hair as they kissed again more slowly than before, it was probably going to be the only thing about tonight that was slow.**

**In the heat of the moment he pulled her on top of him as he fell onto the bed, stupid idea. She winced as her side acted up. When he asked again if she needed to take it easy she about slapped him. **

**Instead she clumsily yanked his shirt over his head and nibbled on his shoulders. **

**Gibbs' hands brushed underneath her shirt and along her bare stomach, which made her crazy. Finally they broke away and undressed separately, both pairs of eye's skimming each other's bodies, but always found their way back to each other.**

**By the time they were chest to chest, skin to skin she had lost all forms of normal communication skills. **

**She shuddered on top of him and all he managed to say was.**

"**God, Jen"**

**-End Flash Back-**

She had waited six years to see his face, and another three after that to hear those words come from his mouth again. Though she had him again she missed being the partner to him.

She missed fighting over who drove to the crime scene. She missed the bullpen banter they used to share; though it hadn't completely left it had moved up into her office. She missed the friendly competition at the shooting range.

Being his boss had its perks too.

Now, he would turn his case reports into her, and she could scrutinize every mess up- just because she could.

Instead of asking to leave at a decent hour she could demand that he and his team go home.

But, some things never change.

He still wore her scratches on his back every morning and his marks on her hips every day.

She still smirked when she caught him starring at her at work, both just counting the hours until they could go home.

She still said 'I love you' and she still meant it.


End file.
